I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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