bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
