how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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