My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
