I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Randomize
