i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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