he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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