Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we made out on top of his cat.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
