I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
