4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
