Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
