all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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