your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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