Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
