She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize