is your mom at the bar?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
