I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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