It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
