new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize