I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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