and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The uberlube is also flammable
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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