Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
