so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
