My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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