just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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