We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize