The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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