it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
