i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
