there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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