i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
