Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
