Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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