I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
