you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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