Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Please, let me fuck your mom
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
