dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
