Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
