if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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