Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
