dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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