brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
