just tell him i said nine months
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
