i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Text me some of your sweat
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