just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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