just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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