I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
