trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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