I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Your penis caused this!
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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