K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
