Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
