eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
