Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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