So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
