Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We need to rekindle our bromance
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
