I think I died a long time ago.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
