you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
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