in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
