even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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