Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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