i just had sex bonerless
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Randomize
