redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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