i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
