ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
