YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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